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I had also said the C-word. Blitzen was a good sport about it and opened her mouth when I pressed the back of my jeans to her face – but I didn’t really crack a fart. “Aren’t we going door-to-door?” I asked. They were there last year. Tell me what this hole in your homely fat face’s ONLY uses are?”

She was gorgeous, in my opinion, and I hadn’t intended to sound so cruel. My aunt also organized the other reindeer to pass out appetizers, but no one questioned her authority to do it. They will expect us to do something like that. I hadn’t wanted this to be a test. I couldn’t get it up if every reindeer in the room tried to suck my dick at once. I was flattered that Evan picked up on the fact that Blitzen had called me something. I was almost as shocked at what she said as what she planned to do with EVERY man in the room – which apparently included me. In reality, she had been empathetic and considerate, and one of the reasons that she identified with me was that we were both outsiders who were new to this. “It’s okay if you don’t have anything for me to say!